red.circusgeek

What a Wednesday

Thursday, February 7th, 2008 | Entertainment, Music, work | No Comments

With this job opportunity just at the reach of my fingertips, I have to now go through the process of negotiating for a competitive wage. I think this is THE most gut wrenching part to the hiring process. How do we know exactly how much we are worth? We look up websites and run averages of salaries that fit job descriptions equivalent to the job we are being considered for and then just throw that back to the hiring managers and hope for the best?

The worst case scenario being they decide not to hire me after all, but wait, I really want to work for them… but there is something to be said about incorporating our value, worth and contribution to the organization.

Needless to say I’ve been obsessing over it all day.

SO, I tried to find peace of mind in doing some inhale yoga this morning. Violin lessons this afternoon, coffee with a friend, coffee alone with my school work, beer at Shanghai, and then met Ryan and I felt all better again. He’s good at doing that for me! :). Phew!

So, we decided the bartender at Shanghai was being a real grumpy pants, so we high tailed it to Thirsty Lion for more beer , dinner, then walked to Roseland.

I bought tickets for the Hot Hot Heat, Louis XIV and Editors show for this evening. While Hot Hot Heat couldn’t play tonight we had a marvelous time escaping reality for few hours at The Roseland. I was pleasantly surprised at Louis XIV. With their string ensemble (2 people playing violins) and of course the usual bass, electric guitar and drums. They were hands down good old 60’s style rock and roll. Brilliant.

I always fall in love with the Editors when I see them live. They are incredibly captivating and the lead singer, Tom Smith, is just as cute as a button with his antics all over the stage. It’s as if the stage were his own playground and the piano his jungle gym.

The lights were EXTREMELY bright in the background, but at certain points it just felt as if I was looking over the horizon and the sun was setting and as such the silhouette of Tom, over the piano, made his more wistful melodies that much more poignant such as the song “The Weight of the World”. They are a charming, entertaining and just plain awesome band. I cannot wait for their next album.

I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

The weather was torrential too, so leaving Roseland was no picnic. But we made it home safe and sound and now my head is a buzz with wonder while my stomach goes back into knots realizing all the transpirations of today, this Wednesday Feb. 6th.

It’s now simply a matter of just waiting to see what tomorrow brings. It’s been a good day thus far, actually it’s been a monumentally memorable day!

Thanks again to all of my support group, friends and past work colleagues. All your affirmations mean more than mountains to me.

Keep safe and good night! Till tomorrow.

They did Pick Me!

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 | General | 8 Comments

I’m so honored and thrilled to have, finally, after almost a year of job searching, networking and interviewing to be welcomed with open arms to join a fantastic firm with fantastic people in a fantastic location in downtown Portland.

This is what I’ve been waiting for, this is where I want to be and this is where I will thrive.

Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who has empathized with me, supported me, unconditionally loved me regardless of employment status and given me nothing but hope and optimism.

The right moment just takes some time to arrive and all I can appreciate now is patience.

Phew! This only confirms that all things happen for a reason, if I accepted any other offer I wouldn’t be presented with this magnificent offer now.

Concentraitin’ at The Coffeehouse

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 | General, School | 2 Comments

I never was the person to sit and gaze over a laptop or textbook for hours at the coffeehouse, but I’m starting to become one.

With the consistency of distractions that are at my every turn at home, I’ve decided I need to be somewhere, where I can truly concentrate with minimal distractions.

Last week it worked wonders at World Cup Coffeehouse in NW Portland. I was able to finish up the Business plan due last week.
To explain, this MBA class consists not only of a ton of reading and papers due every Monday of the class, but the creation of an entire business plan from scratch. I work with a team of three on our particular plan and we each choose an area to write about. Last week was the marketing strategy, this week it’s a whole lot more.

We’ve got summarization of our organizational strategy, SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis and more on marketing strategy. It almost feels redundant at this point, but it’s got to get done and today with 2 hours here at Concordia Coffeehouse, I got 50% done with my portion.

I love it here because they have free wi-fi, good coffee, good atmosphere with jazz playing delicately in the background to fill the space comfortably. Conversations ensue and I can still manage to focus on what I need to get done, with just a few checks on my e-mail and my Google Reader, so I am ready at the touch of a button to find out the latest news or announcement from all the blogs I’m subscribed to… which is a lot.

So, it looks like more coffeehouse visits are in the cards, who would have thought, I certainly didn’t and now I do!

From Sister’s munificence to a Future’s uknown

Saturday, February 2nd, 2008 | family, work | 2 Comments

The drive back home from my sister’s was a breeze. When I got home, hugged kitty and unpacked I then opened my purse to retrieve the envelope my sister gave to me that was intended to “help” with my efforts. In it was cash to pay for gas and to buy something special for me. All in a gesture of thanks for my help these past few days. I was floored to discover $200 smakaroos in there for me.

I called her immediately to embellish her with THANK You’s for her extreme thoughtfulness and generosity. While she gave me the envelope before surgery I knew it was a conscious gesture and I couldn’t have appreciated it more. It definitely helped.

What is great about having a sister, or a sibling, is the reassurance we find in each other when certain apparent behaviors are displayed and we both wonder why the heck we are the way we are. I know she and I share certain traits of our parents (ones in which we are not proud, but they are simply a matter of fact) and we both recognize the value and fault simultaneously. I find it incredibly heartening to know that there is nothing wrong with me and that “it is what it is”.

Which brings me to the next half of this blog which addresses one trait in which I am not incredibly proud of but am an innocent victim to its charm… “obsessiveness”.

Remember when you were in Junior High at recess. You either dreaded or couldn’t wait for recess. I, personally dreaded. So here’s the scenario, you are with your peers at recess and you are planning to play soccer. They pick the team leads and members of the teams start to get chosen. There is nothing worse than being the last one to be chosen for a team. You stand there jumping up and down screaming “pick me, pick me…oh please… pick me”. Alas, you are still the last to be chosen and its usually you that has to balance the teams. Therefore, the team lead may not “want” you but they “must have” you to make the teams equal.

I would obsess over the team picking time at recess. Yes, at this time I’m obsessing over the job picking time.

At this moment in time and in the midst of this interviewing madness I am currently the one being looked over against the team-mates and I am screaming “pick me, pick me”. I just wish I knew if they could hear me.
So, this future holds a sweet beautiful orange carrot in front of me and it’s not mine to grab, unfortunately, it is up to fate to either allow me a nice big bite into that carrot or a new journey to find a new delicious carrot that will one day pick me.

It’s just a matter of time.