Time value
Sunday, October 28th, 2007 | General
I have been obsessed.
I think more so now then ever in my life, although, I think I was born with the obsession or conditioned to recognize its paradigm in which we are slaves to. One minute is no different from the next but how is it that the actual time felt inside that minute is simply dependent on the emotions, feelings, experience we are having in that time-frame.
I never ask for time to move quicker then necessary, although my light at the end of this MBA tunnel is still too far to reach right now. It’s the time and space in between that envelopes my everyday. I appreciate those that can sit and relax either in a yoga class or meditating. It’s a matter of keeping the mind still. Maybe in that moment you can suspend yourself in that time, thus almost making it last longer. I strive for that peace. Each day is filled with lists of to do’s in my head. This is where I cannot suspend myself in time because just as the day ends the list is there again to begin with the next day.
I should not apply any time gap to guilt. But I do. I should not apply any time gap to worry. But I do. I think guilt and worry are tantamount. I think in a sense maybe we all do.
1. Read for school - 1-2 hours
2. start outline for next paper that is due next for school - .5-1 hour
3. do laundry .25 hour
4. go to the gym (A must do and it seems the time in between is the hardest to get to, I have not been in 4 days, do I feel guilty about that, of course I do, since it has been a birthday weekend, my imbibing has been caloriciously extravagant, I will pay for it tomorrow, I just know it) - 1.5-2 hours
5. Clean house- 1- 1.5 hours
6. Yard work- ? questionable R, God bless him, manages most of this since over 60% of my day is dedicated to school.
7. Call mom- 1-1.5 hours - depending on if she’s watching a Diamondback game
8. call sister- .5 hours- depending on what the boys are up to
9. send a card- .25
10. search for a job- .25 - 3 hours sometimes respectively.
11. apply for a job - .5 - 3 hours sometimes depending on pre-screen questionnaire requests
12. schedule an informational interview of a place in which I would like to work - (now really who has time for this?)- Really have no idea could take anywhere from .5-2 hours- that’s if they agree to meet with me.
13. Read- For my own pleasure? .25 hours mainly when drying hair.
14. Plan a scrumptious dinner- .5 -1 hour- R will definitely be getting a few nights of home made chili and a few nights of chicken chow mein- a way to provide a birthday gift that only costs what the ingredients cost. 
15. Contact a friend I haven’t contacted in awhile and schedule some time together (time, it’s all about time) - E-mail - .10 hours- hence there is no excuse for me not do this more, it takes virtually seconds to send someone an e-mail of hello and that I’m thinking of them.
Well in the essence of time I say that is just enough about that on the subject. I think it only hits me hardest when the free moments come and go and how no $$ application to time is possible for it is worth more than gold, especially the precious moments, like I got to have with sweet Henry last night. He will never be that small ever again, I am lucky to have experienced the moment. This must be what parents go through all of the time. I now understand.
Profoundly.
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